Stay Connected

I don’t think I’m great at praying. That may seem strange to hear from a pastor, but I’m just being honest. It doesn’t come naturally, and it’s something I have to work on daily to get better at. What I find interesting, though, is that I’ve never met anyone who has said, “I am great at praying” when speaking about their own prayer life. And I’ve met people who are serious prayer warriors—people I turn to when I need someone to pray on my behalf. People who dedicate well over an hour a day to seeking God, who even have a dedicated room in their house for prayer. Even those who the rest of us would say have “mastered the art of prayer” tend to think they could do better.

Why is it that the majority of us feel like we aren’t good at praying? That’s a good question, and one that’s a little difficult to answer. I think part of that mindset has to do with our desire to be in God’s presence. No matter how strong or weak our prayer lives may be, they’re still just a taste of what our souls truly desire. So, in one sense, we will always long for more. But I also think another reason is an inaccurate or incomplete view of prayer.

My wife Danielle and I are quickly approaching our 15-year wedding anniversary, and we’ve been together for about 17 years. We obviously talk every single day—multiple times a day—often for over an hour at a time. Let me give you a basic overview of our communication on a regular day.

Most days, she wakes up before 5 a.m. to get to work by 6 a.m., so our first communication is simply, “Good morning, I love you, goodbye.” It’s not much, but it’s enough at that time of day. (Now that I think about it, it might actually be too much at 5 a.m. Danielle, if you’re reading this, please shorten it to just “I love you.” Thanks.) Later in the morning, I’ll text her updates on how our daughters did getting on the bus or at daycare drop-off. We’ll text each other “love you.” We touch base throughout the day via text. Sometimes the texts are about our day, sometimes they’re questions, sometimes we’re venting, and sometimes it’s just a joke or a quick “I miss you.”

After work, we talk on the phone. Sometimes for her entire commute (my commute is 5 seconds, but hers is about 25 minutes), and other times just for a couple of minutes because one of us needs to decompress.

We try to talk at home before and after dinner, but it almost never happens. We have an 18-month-old and a 5-year-old. Our home is complete chaos—the good kind, usually—so it’s survival mode until the kids’ bedtimes.

Once the kids are in bed, we finally get to have real, deep conversations. Sometimes we talk for an hour, sometimes for just 5 minutes. There’s never an agenda or a specific time frame we’re aiming for. It’s natural and free-flowing. Often, we’ll end the day watching something on Netflix, pausing the show several times when something pops into our minds to talk about.

Here’s why I explained our communication in such detail—because none of it is structured. We communicate because we want to and because we love each other deeply. Even when we aren’t saying anything, we’re still enjoying each other’s presence or working as a team. Whether we’re together, apart, or on a mission, we’re constantly checking in throughout the day.

I want to encourage you to treat your prayer life similarly. My morning prayers are simple and short. I spend more intentional time praying at some point during the day, but I’m constantly checking in with God throughout. When I notice something beautiful, my thoughts go to God. When I’m dealing with something difficult, I ask for help. When I experience joy, I give thanks. Whether I’m kneeling at the altar, working, or mowing the lawn, I’m aware of and enjoying God’s presence.

I think this is what Paul was communicating in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 when he said, “Pray continually.” Not necessarily hours of prayer at a time, but a constant awareness of God’s presence and a continual conversation throughout the day. There are times and seasons for extended prayer, just like Danielle and I will have our “date nights,” where we get to talk longer and deeper than on a typical day. But most of the time, our prayers will be short, yet consistent.

So, my challenge to you is to pray continually today. One thing I’ve recommended in the past is to make a note in your phone and send little “text message” prayers to God throughout the day. Little “I love you’s” and “thank you’s.” Ask for help when you need it, strength when you’re weak, courage when you’re afraid, and even vent when you’re frustrated. This will undoubtedly create an awareness of God’s presence in our lives. I believe this is what a strong prayer life looks like and how it can bring us closer to the heart of God.